People are terrific

Everyday experiences with violence and aggression

by Jan Durk Tuinier and Geu Visser

More and more you hear people say that there is more violence and aggression anywhere than there used to be. But is this really true? Is there more violence, or has our tolerance towards violence become less? The first question cannot be answered with a straightforward ‘yes’. But the second question can. People are really fed up with violence and aggression. But what type of aggression are we talking about? Do girls react in a different way to violence than boys do? And how is it possible that people keep feeling more and more unsafe in their own homes, while the amount of burglaries stays the same. Many people are worried about violence and aggression. Especially when children and young people are involved. How can we live together with children when acts of aggression like: kicking, fighting, stabbing and shooting seem to be a normal part of daily life? Sometimes we donot know anymore what is real, what is fiction or virtual. Fact is, that we are all involved with it, whether we think it is exciting or not. In this chapter we want to explore the theme of violence on the basis of everyday experiences. We conclude with some definitions that can be helpful in the dialogue with children and young people.

Greatest concern

The everyday violence is one of the greatest concerns of people. The number of cases of violence can only partly account for this. It is indeed true that the number of reporting of acts of violence has increased and that more young people are involved in them. But this does not apply to society at large. Particularly in the weekends when people are going out, there is an increase of incidents of violence. In other places, like on the streets it has become safer. But many people experience the contrary and do feel less safe. Mostly this has to do with the creation of a picture. The media present us with stories about acts of violence in great detail. Particularly when there is an incident in school with a gun or when there is violence on the streets. Then it seems like you aren’t safe anywhere anymore. These reports of the media can lead to fear. They make the feelings of unsafety stronger with many people.

Violence in the environment

Research has shown that educators particularly worry about the large amount of violence in the environment. The violence that reaches us through media; like television, computer games, cartoons, videos and music. Top of the list of annoying things are violent movies on television or in the cinema. After that, are the computer games like Carmageddon and Autocalypse and also the Executions game. Fortunately, a not too popular game. It is an adventure game at which the player is awarded with pieces of video films with executions, from the First World War up to and including the war in former Yugoslavia.

Influence

Executions is possibly the most sickening game there is. Then again, almost any race game has forms of violence. Young people are not convinced themselves that games can have a negative influence on them.’ The violence makes it exciting’, one boy says, when we ask him for his motives. ‘There is nothing to it, it’s not like when I am eighteen years old, I will be running over old people and women with prams’, another boy says. He is probably right. But the question remains whether this is a nice way to get your kicks. The worries of the educators is right in part, but they should not exaggerate. By the way, they often like a lively crime story themselves, from bloody to gentle and intelligent. And then again; why not? For many people it is nice entertainment.

Fourth educator

Violence in the environment does not automatically lead to aggressive behaviour in children and young people. In some cases, however, it can reinforce children’s and young people’s behaviour. At least that is what we can see. The television and computer are called the fourth educator, after the parents, the peer group and the school. It is hard to say in what way people are influenced by violence form the environment. We cannot isolate these media from other influences. What we can say, is that these media contribute to our values and standards. Children and young people who watch violent movies in which violence and aggression are rewarded as a way to solve conflicts, every day, are apt more strongly to express this ’value’ in their own lives.

Over the barrier

In a small group of children, violent movies and computer games can do harm. Especially, in children who have been harmed in their youth already. Harmed children can show extremely violent behaviour under the influence of violent movies and computer games. When other things like alcohol and drugs play a role as well, the barrier to violent behaviour is lowered to a great extent.

Aggression

Violent behaviour is not the same as aggression. Aggression is a state of mind. We can also call it an instinct of survival. People are born with it. We need this more or less positive power to live, to grow and to create. We can do a lot of positive things with it but also negative ones. For instance, when someone frustrates us or when we are crossed in our plans or disappointed. The way people cope with aggression is acquired. If aggression does harm to people, you get violent or aggressive behaviour. Fortunately, the barrier to aggressive behaviour is high. We all have learned that talking is better than fighting. Then again, many young people who have been behaving aggressively say that it happened ‘for no reason’. Mainly, in combination with alcohol or other drugs.

Girls

To complicate things a little further; 99% of violent acts in the night life is done by men. Not that girls don’t have as much drive in them. But violence is not attractive for most girls. You will seldom see them playing violent computer games. From their being they are more inclined to talk and work together than to fight. From early childhood on, they have gotten the opportunity to learn social skills. Girls have to be nice and boys sturdy. Then they are ‘real men’. Whether boys and girls are satisfied with this role themselves remains to be seen. What is certain is that they both deal with aggression in a different way.

Unreasonable violence

In the past few years we talk about unreasonable violence. A strange expression . Whoever is confronted with violence or stories from victims themselves, cannot imagine anymore that there is such thing as ‘reasonable violence’. There is a great deal of protest against unreasonable violence. Many young people indicate that they are powerless. It is very important to give attention to this powerlessness and do not wipe it away with all kinds of measures. Measures like television adds and security systems in places where people are going out. The big problem is that unreasonable violence, awful as it is, is caused by people and therefore, is human. It can happen to anyone anywhere, be it as a perpetrator (the person who does it), as public (people who see it) or as a victim (person who gets it). Even as a perpetrator, how difficult it may be to imagine. Almost everyone is aware that they can do bad things when they are in a group. Young people are involved in this. What is more: they are involved in it every day and change positions constantly.

Double attitude

Us people have a strange double attitude towards violence. We hate violence in the streets and in the night-life but we think it is exciting and sometimes even entertaining in relation to other things. Sometimes we even think that violence and killing is necessary or inevitable, in terms of modern warfare like in Kosovo or in other centres of fire in the world that do not ‘make it’ through the media. Another type of unreasonable violence we don’t care about, unless we are victims ourselves, is the violence in traffic. Violence in traffic costs more than a hundred deadly victims each month, for years now. We have a strange attitude towards violence. Reason enough to start working with this theme

Utrecht, September 2000